Dear Readers: Here is the another installment from Jason "Ladies Man Wannabe" Busch. Jason's wife, MetalMiner's Lisa Reisman, just sent me a digital photo from the cruise, showing Jason posing with Minnie Mouse, a nervous smile on his face. Now, Jason insists that the shiner he's sporting is from an accident on the squash court, but my insiders tell me that Minnie was less than happy about some relationship advice Jason tried to give Mickey. Jason, I keep telling you: never take on a rodent bigger than you. --Joy

In the first of this series, I examined how Tiger could have better managed his affairs using a variety of Spend Management technologies including spend analysis, sourcing, optimization, and contract management. In this column I'll continue my analysis, turning my attention to other areas of technology that Tiger might have taken advantage of. Let's start with supplier diversity. In the procurement world, supplier diversity is really about two things: First, intentionally allocating more spend to minority and women-owned suppliers, because they represent a good potential revenue segment, and you've got to spread the love to get the love (even if you're spreading hundreds and getting back dimes, at least you've got something to show for it); second, it's about bureaucratic reporting, because our government feels sorry for all the centuries of discrimination that it condoned against certain protected minorities (but not the Jews, Irish, Italians, Japanese, or any other non-protestants who came over on the boat, were denied jobs, or who were interned by our government at various points in history, but don't get me started on that one).

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Joy here, Gentle Spend Matters Readers. Methinks Jason doth oink too much. Jason would have you think him a rakish, man-about-town ladies' man, telling the pros how it's done. So that we don't hurt his feelings, we'll indulge his delusion, and pretend to forget that right now Jason is on a Disney cruise with his two kids, whom he adores, and his wife, whom he worships. And who could teach Mrs. Tiger Woods a lesson or two about making revenge look like an accident.

I know that everyone has already beaten Tiger to a pulp, poaching away at the bush meat left in his libertine forest (one almost wonders if he'd trade his famous green Masters jacket for a ... well, go spell it out yourself on Urban Dictionary). But I can't resist getting in one last blow (don't even think about it, you sick readers) as it pertains to his various escapades and Escalades in the context of procurement and supply chain. So without further adieu, let's examine how Tiger might have made better use of Spend Management technology to either further his indulgent motivations, or to show more ... some ... ANY restraint.

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For those of you feeling the financial pressures of the season, here's some perspective for you. I read this for the first time recently and laughed. Ah, the fickle ways in which spend logic toys with us mortals. It's amusing that a man whose life is about controlling spend can be so blindered when it comes to something as obvious as, oh, a 36-year-old countess. As for the countess, a woman who insists she needs $53K per week to support herself (that's right, per WEEK), before we sneer or cast judgment, let's consider: That $53K per week will pay for a limousine driver, estheticians at her local spa, a travel agent's commission, the salaries of a pilot and several air hosts, the employees that staff her three residences, numerous chefs and waitstaff, and countless poor salesclerks at Bergdoff's.

So on one hand, we have the supposed spend genius who stands to lose more than $43 million in exchange for a humiliating marriage and subsequent divorce (a news flash for you over-60 rich boys: no matter how virile you think you are, there's only one Clint Eastwood. So when those young women come sniffing around, it's not your Mature Sex Appeal they're after).

On the other hand, we have The Predator Wears Prada who, for all of her extravagance (indeed, because of it) will get a swank stress-free life, and in the process will support a small army of service employees. Who's the spend genius now? -- Joy

United Spendologies -- How George David Failed to Control His Wife's Spend

Fires are tragic. Let's hope no one was hurt in this blaze on Michigan avenue this morning. But I must say, with apologies to my lovely wife, that this will save some damage to the family Amex bill in shoe purchases if indeed Chicago's Nordstrom is out of commission for a bit of time. Call me Scrooge, but this is an early savings present ...

- Jason Busch

The end of the calendar year is fast approaching and no doubt some suppliers will be offering terrific deals in the hopes of moving their sales numbers closer to their annual targets. The Congress, especially the Senate, is hard at work preparing their own end-of-the year deal in an effort to pass health-care reform before 2009 becomes "last year." Fortunately for those who read this, the deal your suppliers offer could not possibly be worse than what the Senate seems to be cooking up. Purchasing people hear lots of savings stories from suppliers that, while not outright lies, test the limits of Webster's own imagination. But these too cannot hold a candle to what the is being prepared in the halls of Congress. We are supposed to believe that the Medicare program, which at its current run rate will be insolvent in 2017, can have the age of coverage lowered to 55, add as many as thirty million new customers, be cut by close to $500 billion over ten years, still provide the same level of service to senior citizens and extend the life of the program by as much as nine years. It just doesn't seem possible.... but what If?

It's been years since I wrote a letter to Santa, but if Congress can dream big, so can I.

Dear Santa,
I want it all!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of the readers of SpendMatters.

Lynn James Everard

In consulting circles, it's been hard to meet someone in the past few weeks without cracking a Tiger Woods and Accenture joke ("Infidelity. Delivered.") Given the rising tide of jokes tied to the Accenture brand, it felt like it was only a matter of time before Accenture pulled the plug on its marketing relationship with the golfing legend, a partnership that was linked at the hip with the firm's overall marketing strategy. From PowerPoint presentations to boozing it up with top clients at The Masters, Accenture practically defined its entire marketing efforts around Tiger’s image.

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Sometimes the Onion really is quite funny. It just satirically reported one of its best stories in recent memory: U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs -- CNN Host Had Been Living Illegally In Country Since 1961. In my view, given that Dobbs is so anti-trade and anti-immigration, perhaps more appropriate satirical justice would have been to force the former CNN talk show host to drive a K-car the rest of his life (before Honda and Toyota forced the hand of US automakers to improve). Moreover, I'd like to see his supporters make do with 75% fewer holiday presents for their kids without complaining given the affordable abundance that global trade has brought the average American. But don't tell Lou that ...

- Jason Busch

In honor of labor day, I thought it would be appropriate to show how at least one group of workers in my neighborhood in Chicago is benefiting from automated technology that frees up their time to focus on the more important things in life.

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Starting on Monday, I'm doing something that I've not done since starting this blog. I'm taking off 2 weeks. Now, don't worry. I've prepared a couple dozen postings in advance. Plus Amy Edwards, my editorial assistant, has spent the past few weeks researching and writing a few posts of her own (Amy is a regular contributor to Spend Matters affiliate Blog, Metal Miner). She's also helped me pull together a best-of series for the vacation period as well. So you won't be starved for any news or commentary. And if there is a breaking story, I'll be sure to get something up on Spend Matters as soon as possible. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the last few months of summer. The one caveat is that I won't spend time commenting when I'm away.

And what might you ask is the first thing on my agenda when I return in September? I'm headed out to the GOP convention to raise hell with a party that's all but abandoned its free trade, free market, and low individual/corporate tax principals. Look for PJ O'Rourke-esque coverage of the Spend Management implications of the convention from a blogger who plans to cover it as much from a barstool as the delegate floor. Why, do you ask, am I going? Because I think there's still hope in convincing the Goldwater and Reagan wing of the party of the benefits of keeping our borders, markets and market access open for the next four years and beyond. I've completely lost hope in the other party for now, but then again, I might change my mind again after a few days in Minnesota with a bunch of protectionist, closed-minded nincompoops. Wish me luck. And buy me a drink if you see me at the hotel bar. I'll need it.

- Jason Busch

Sometimes it's a good idea to keep track of your suppliers, let alone your professional talent. For this reason, there's a lot we can learn from Ashley Dupre of Girls Gone Wild and Eliot Spitzer fame. According to a Fox News story -- they get the best sensationalist gossip relative to CNN, I must admit -- Dupre is suing her former employer with claims that "he falsely advertised that she performed for its cameras, and falsely advertised its offer to her of a $1 million contract. In her lawsuit, Dupre claims that [the owner] and his company ruined her reputation." The defendant's retort says it all: "It's hard to imagine how anyone could actually ruin a hooker's reputation ... But what I really don't understand is, out of the whole Eliot Spitzer scandal, how I'm the only person who ends up in a courtroom." Legal arguments aside, this is not a type of supply risk that most of us have to worry about. Still, I find it hilariously entertaining to watch.

- Jason Busch